I grew up with Nintendo
At 37 years young and acquiring a Sega Genesis Mini I was excited to discover what I was missing a long time ago. In the 80s and 90s recess was a place to talk trash about each others sports teams, physical appearance and video game brand loyalties. I’m sure kids have come a long way since.
I received the usual SNES fan boy insults like Mortal Kombat having no blood and sports games being complete garbage on the Super Nintendo. I was immediately biased when I tried Sonic that I crapped all over it without putting any time into it.
So I wondered what would happen if I invented a time machine and had a heart to heart with my younger self. First of all I’d tell him that when he meets Veronica to run and run away fast. Then I’d tell him what it is like owning a Sega Genesis.
Hello Younger Me:
God I was fatter than I remember. Sorry. Don’t sweat it you’ll lose most of it once puberty kicks in. I know you’re jealous of your buddy Jay having the best cable package you could ever imagine but just wait until this thing called the Internet comes around…
Anyway, I completely destroyed the known laws of physics and put our entire universe in jeopardy to tell you about Sega. In the future these 16-bit machines will be re-released as tiny little retro novelty gimmicks. This is when you will finally own a Sega Genesis. It will come with 42 games including a bunch of Sonic the Hedgehog sequels.
Have I played Sonic? Yes I have. I played them through to the end. In the future there’s no game overs and starting from the very beginning. Now you save anywhere in the game and continue as you were. No game genie required!
So what do I think of Sonic after years of sticking by Mario? It’s great! It is. It’s a great franchise for a reason but I think those handful of times you tried it you weren’t playing it properly. I know you love Super Mario World and Zelda: A Link To The Past and you kicked ass at those. The reason you were good at those games is you loved to explore and you loved to find alternate ways to complete a level. That’s not Sonic. Sonic is designed for speed. There’s no reason to explore the entire level unless you’re looking for power-ups or a hidden free life. Trust me it’s not worth it. You want to get from point A to point B quickly and honestly isn’t that refreshing?
When you get older you are going to play some fantastic games. These games are much more larger than you can imagine. You play a game called Kindom Come: Deliverance for 200 hours. 200. Hours. In fact it’s kind of killed your desire to play big open world sandbox games for the time being. What’s big open world sandbox mean? Oh you ignorant little fat kid.
Anyway, the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise on the Sega Genesis is a wonderful game franchise that holds up in the future. At 37 years of age I’m still loving the graphics and enjoying the blast processing that Nintendo will never be able replicate. When your stupid friends are chirping Nintendo out there just remember they’re wrong about Mario and you’re wrong about Sonic. They’re both great and deserve to be in the video game hall of fame which doesn’t exist in the future…I don’t think. Wow I just used this future technology called Google and the World Video Game Hall of Fame totally exists. Fun fact that game Doom that Matt has on his family computer just got inducted in 2015.
Yes 2015 is the year Marty McFly goes to the future and no there isn’t any flying cars. You know what there is between now and 2015? Sports. Yup lets go cash grandma’s birthday cheque and call some bookies.
The Bish Ninja
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